She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
