We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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