just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
