I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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