Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
