I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize