She said her name was "party"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
