Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
