You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
