3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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