Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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