Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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