I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
