I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I currently don't understand fingers.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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