Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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