Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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