There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
