Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
My ATM looks so different sober.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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