you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
