i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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