ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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