I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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