I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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