the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
