Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I want to fling myself into the sun
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
