Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises