Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
