remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize