saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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