I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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