Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
