Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
