i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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