Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
he high fived his dick after we had sex
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
