I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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