Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Found your dick twin last night
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
