Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
