Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize