We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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