i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
