you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
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She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
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He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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