left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
