I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
