I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
