the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
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