We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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