i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
