Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
