she was so not down for the gang bang
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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