I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where does the pee come out of this thing
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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