I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
