addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize