I need help removing her.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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