I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
