he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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