Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
