its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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