operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
