She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
