New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
