I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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